Secret Teacher: we don't need expensive gifts – a thank you will do

Last week, I saw a post in a parents’ group on Facebook asking what to get teachers as an end-of-year present. Some responses were ideas and suggestions, but some people argued that no one should buy their child’s teacher a gift at the end of the year.

Of course, it’s an ongoing debate. A survey by Mumsnet on Christmas gifts revealed that 45% of parents buy gifts for teachers – 60% think it is a good idea, 22% don’t agree with the practice, and 38% disagree with giving teachers a Christmas present.

A popular sentiment on last week’s Facebook discussion was that “teachers are just doing their jobs, so why should we give them a present?” It led me to wonder if I really should be given anything at all.

During my teaching career, I have received an eclectic array of presents, from expensive bracelets to homemade biscuits, electric flowers, ornamental instruments, perfume and John Lewis vouchers.

But the part I cherish the most is the accompanying cards and notes expressing gratitude for what I’ve done, or acknowledgement of the role I’ve played in children’s lives. Because while the parents who argue that teachers shouldn’t be given presents are in some ways correct – I am a teacher, and paid to do that job – I never just do my job.

When I know a child isn’t eating breakfast, I keep a stash of bananas in my cupboard just for them. If a pupil has a sibling with additional needs who has to take priority at home, I make sure they feel special and heard. When a family loses their home and benefits, I’m there to reassure the child that we will fight for them.

I sacrifice my health, family time and social life to keep up to date with the requirements of this job. And every time we have a fire drill, or hear about a terrorist attack, it is a sharp reminder that I would die to save my students’ lives. So I never just do my job.

But I don’t need expensive presents in return (although I appreciate the gifts I’ve been given). Teachers, on the whole, are overstretched – and many are leaving the profession. But the ones who stay do it because they love what they do and the children they work with. What parents say to their child’s teachers, and the way they treat them, can make a real difference.

I have had conversations at the end of the year with hugs and tears, and notes on scraps of paper expressing how the parents or children feel, with apologies for not being able to afford a gift. It’s these cards, notes and scraps of paper which I have kept from my very first class until now.

Presents fade, get used or are re-gifted, but the memories of parents acknowledging how much we do for their children doesn’t. Parents should not – and do not – have to give their children’s teachers presents. But a little thanks goes a long way.

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