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320 pages, Hardcover
First published August 15, 2011
Everyone sighed in relief that the night, so nearly at an end, had concluded without imprisonment or death.
"Did you eat ragout spiced with cumin without washing your hands, you mad madman! How dare you think that you can consummate marriage with a lady like me, while your hands smell of not only cumin but of saffron as well!"
"I weep because I don't wish that flat-nosed mule, with his useless sperm like farting soap bubbles, to divorce me and rob me of all this wealth."
"What an extraordinary, unusual thing. This King has a vagina."
"We're sorry but we cannot, fear has rendered us flaccid. We can feel nothing at this moment other than our terror of this demon."