It’s 2am. I wake up in a hot sweat. Somethings moving in the kitchen. I call out in the bravest voice I can muster to identify who has broken into my home. The only break in the silence is the sound of something scurrying fast across the floor. I man-up and dash into the kitchen. All I can see is the glow from the refrigerator door. I quickly reach in the silverware drawer to grab the sharpest object I can find. To my dismay, the only items I pull out are salt and pepper shakers.

Thats when I come eye to eye with the intruder. I let out a girlish scream as I stare at the monster standing before me. For it’s not a man staring back, but none other than last nights footlong hot dog from Sonic Drive-In. The chili cheese coney is alive and it’s come for my soul. And so begins my nightmare. A time where I question the very fabric of reality. A time where I doubt myself as a man. A time… for hamburgers.

Welcome to hell. Welcome… to Burger Time.

Never have I been more terrified of food side eating the sushi at Grand China Buffet. Burger Time was a devilish game cooked up by the fear mongers at Data East. It’s been ported across multiple platforms since 1982. This game is not for the weak at heart… or the empty stomach. You will never truly know fear until a giant pickle chases you down a ladder towards the sinister clutches of the egg waiting below.

Burger Time is the nightmare to end all nightmares. The protagonist, Chef Peter Pepper, must race across platforms and knock all the ingredients down to make the perfect cheeseburger. The only problem is the food have come alive and will stop at nothing until they’ve chocked the life out of him. Why do they desperately want him dead? Perhaps Peter has committed heinous acts in his lifetime. Maybe the food had to watch his wicked indiscretions while trapped in a frigid cooler of despair. Maybe they  realized their ultimate fate and decided that straight up murder was the only solution. Regardless, the ill-fated chef must maneuver a maze of ladders before his psycho foods cook him at 350 degrees for 30-45 minutes.

The game is nerve racking to say the least. The sheer terror you feel as the egg nearly grabs you as you race up the ladders. Your pulse starts to race as you dash across each hamburger bun before the hot dog closes in. Peter Pepper must live this hell every single day. The only other chef that I can relate to such torture would be the protagonist, Chef Cookie, from “Panic Restaurant.” Or perhaps any chef that has to endure filming reality cooking shows with Guy Fieri. Why must Peter live this life of misery? All he’s trying to do is to make a damn sandwich!

Well, it’s up to you to save him. Every second that ticks by will test not only your reflexes but your sheer will to survive. Will you flame broil your path to victory? Or will you burn like the grease that drips down through the coals? Only your wit and endurance will determine your path. You’ll never look at hamburgers the same way again.