Who Is Ray Romano's Wife? All About Anna Romano

Ray Romano knows how to make a marriage work.

The comedian has been married to his wife, Anna Romano, since 1987. Three years later, they welcomed their first child together, daughter Alexandra. Ray and Anna went on to have three more kids: twins Matthew and Gregory, and son Joseph.

As a married father of four, Ray took plenty of inspiration from his own life when working on his hit sitcom Everybody Loves Raymond in the 1990s and early 2000s.

"My wife, on occasion, when our TV show was on, and we'd have an argument and she'd turn and say, 'I don't want to see this on the show,' " Ray recalled to PEOPLE in 2023. "And I would say, 'We already did that episode.' "

Ray's latest project, Somewhere in Queens, also includes elements from his real-life, including his son's struggle with anxiety and Anna's breast cancer journey.

"I injected all that as much as I could," Ray told PEOPLE of the film. "And then we also wrote characters and wrote story, but most of it came from a real place."

So who is Ray Romano's wife? Here's everything to know about Anna Romano and her longtime marriage to the Everybody Loves Raymond star.

She's from New York

Born Anna Scarpulla, Anna is a native New Yorker just like her husband. And like Ray, she's also Italian. While appearing on Ellen, Ray told host Ellen DeGeneres that his in-laws had come to New York from a small town in Sicily, and he took the family on vacation there in 2019.

"When [Anna's parents] were 40 years old they came to America from a little town in Sicily," he said. "So we'd visited there before, but this time we took the whole gang. We took 13 relatives."

She and Ray met while working as bank tellers

Ray and Anna first met in 1983 while working together at a bank in Queens. According to Anna, though, the comedian "wasn't good" as a bank teller. "He was accurate, but very slow," she recalled to CBS in 2005.

At the time, Ray was 25 and living at home while trying to break into stand-up comedy. He rode his bike to the bank job and was usually late to work — according to Anna. "He was funny and he was just kind," she said on the podcast Double Date with Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue. She went on to add that Ray was "just a good person."

Not wanting to risk an awkward encounter, Ray waited to ask Anna out until after he no longer worked at the bank and was starting to delve more into stand-up.

"I always tell her she took a gamble because she went out with a guy who lived at home and rode a bike to work," he said.

They got married in 1987

The pair started dating in 1985 and went on to get married two years later in October 1987.

"We didn't have any expectations when we were dating," Anna said. "We were happy, so we just took it day by day."

Ray joked that Anna wouldn't care if he was a plumber — as long as he "made the same money." Anna was by Ray's side when he decided to pursue stand-up full-time after they were married, and when he got his development deal for Everybody Loves Raymond in 1995.

She appeared on an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond

Anna, who has dabbled in acting and cinematography, once appeared in an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond in 2001. In the first episode of the sixth season, "The Angry Family," Anna made a quick cameo as one of the other moms at the school.

They have four kids

Ray and Anna welcomed their first and only daughter, Alexandra Romano, on Aug. 26, 1990. Three years later, they were expecting again.

In an interview with PEOPLE, Ray admitted that he hoped for a boy the second time around. "Anna called me after a sonogram and said, 'Well, we're having twins.' I was like, 'Come on!' She said, 'Yes. Twin girls.' I tried to sound happy, going, 'Oh. Good. Good.' " he shared. "Finally she told me, 'They're boys, you jerk!' That's when I knew I loved her."

The pair welcomed twin boys, Matthew and Gregory Romano, in 1993. Their fourth son, Joseph Romano, was born in 1998.

During the pandemic, Ray quarantined with his four kids. "It's actually kind of enjoyable," he told PEOPLE of the experience. "I can't sympathize enough with people who are quarantining with little children."

In April 2023, Ray revealed that their daughter Alexandra had recently gotten engaged.

She's a breast cancer survivor

In 2010, Anna, then 46 years old, was diagnosed with stage one breast cancer, though she didn't share the news with the public at the time. "We were dealing with it privately and didn't need any attention," Ray later explained to PEOPLE.

Two years later, the couple discussed Anna's cancer journey with PEOPLE in an effort to "help people," per Ray. They also waited to tell their children about Anna's diagnosis "until we knew the prognosis was good."

"We waited to get the results from genetic testing, and it was negative," Anna said at the time. "We wanted them to have all the information and not to worry if there wasn't a reason. So we told them, and my youngest goes, 'If you're going to be all right, can I forget about it?' "

Anna received surgery, radiation and chemotherapy before making a full recovery. "You appreciate everything so much more. It's a cliche that life is short, but it is. We're lucky," Ray said.

After their experience, Ray said he was grateful they never had to worry about insurance covering Anna's treatment and wanted to help others who may not be as fortunate. The desire to help inspired Anna to research philanthropies, leading the couple to two local breast cancer charities in New York and Los Angeles — their "two hometowns." Ray also appeared in an advertisement for Stand Up To Cancer.

"We got lucky," he said. "But it kind of opens your eyes — so I want to just give back."

His latest project is inspired by their life

Just as the overall premise for Everybody Loves Raymond was largely based on Ray's real family, his latest project is, too.

Ray's directorial debut, Somewhere In Queens, pulls inspiration from his own experience growing up in Queens and being a father of four.

Speaking with PEOPLE ahead of the film's premiere, Romano shared that he wouldn't include anything in the film that she wasn't comfortable with, especially when it came to her cancer experience. "She's 10 years cancer free. I think she liked the way we depicted it, and I think it felt real to her, what a cancer survivor mentally goes through," he said.

"Believe me, she would've told me, she would've told me if she felt something was wrong there or something that just rubbed her a little bit the wrong way," he said. "She gave me her approval."

She doesn't care about fame

One thing that makes his marriage work, Ray says, is Anna's disinterest in fame. "The reason [our marriage] works is because she is a person who (a) doesn't need attention and (b) can understand how I feel about her, even though it's hard for me to outwardly express that. She's the hero here," he told TIME in 2019.

Ray also shared with PEOPLE in 2023 how Anna is "over it" when it comes to his career. While he said he shares his scripts with his children and Anna — especially as he takes inspiration from their lives — she doesn't take much interest in reading through them as the kids do.

"I've been married to her for 35 years and I've been in the business for just about that long," he explained. "So she's supportive, but she's not as on top of it as my kids are."

Ray went on to share advice his therapist gave him about how to be the best spouse possible to Anna, which included an ego check.

"I don't know if this is a general secret that applies to everybody, but my wife is not in show biz, and I am in show biz," said Ray. "My therapist one day told me when we were discussing something like this, and I'm going to quote him because it's a good quote to follow. He said, 'Act like you're not a narcissist.' "

"And ultimately what he was saying was, the business I'm in and the occupation I have and the things that drive me can be hard for a spouse to deal with, and sometimes you can lose track of that," he continued.

"You're not being aware of the other person. And sometimes you have to take a breath and realize that. Because I do feel everything for my wife. I feel the love, but I don't show it enough."