Each week, we give every episode at least 24 hours to breathe and for you to get caught up. After that, you’re clicking at your own risk. Spoilers ahead.
We. Got. Violence…Thanks to the big bad brothers from Hell. The Cleganes are on very different paths, leaving a trail of blood in their wake. The Mountain does so in the name of his queen and to protect her. The Hound is his own man, dealing in revenge but also looking for for some kind of redemption. At this rate, however, the #CleganeBowl looks further and further in the distance.
Meanwhile, Arya put Waif’s face on the wall and took her name back. Missandei and Grey Worm became the new Dharma and Greg. Tommen turned full heel. Jaime runs Riverrun. Brienne got a “Good job, Good Effort”. Cersei picked up one last card to play…
And making her triumphant return to Meereen…
1. Daenerys (Previously 1st)
I don’t know what Daenerys expected to find when she got back, but I don’t think it was Master ships throwing fireballs at her city. We may need to wait until the finale, but I think we’re going to see her first example of her opponents on the sea. She now has 3 dragons, her khalasar, the Unsullied and the Second Sons and they are going to get some practice in conquering.
2. The Night King (Previously 2nd)
His presence is such a threat, even the Brotherhood Without Banners is heading to the wall to fight. The fight between “the living and the dead” should be a major focus for the next two seasons.
3. Jaime Lannister (Previously 15th)
Jaime OWNED this week’s episode. He maintained his honor, allowing Brienne safe passage to speak with the Blackfish and to keep Oathkeeper, while instilling enough fear in Edmure to turn over Riverrun. All season long, Jaime has grown more and more comfortable in his own skill and driven to achieve what he believes he and his sister deserve. As he said in the episode, Cersei is willing to burn down cities for her children. What do you think Edmure will be willing to do for her, especially after Tommen officially turned his back on her?
4. High Sparrow (Previously 4th)
Tommen’s decree to eliminate Trials by Combat was a clear sign of the High Sparrow pulling the strings. Once Lancel got back to him about how dangerous Zombie Mountain is, The Sparrow had to insure that her fate would be in his hands. Unfortunately for the Sparrow and the rest of King’s Landing, Cersei is ready to make everyone pay.
5. Jon Snow (Previously 8th)
I can’t wait for The Battle of The Bastards. Ramsay may have more men but Jon’s army has more purpose. In these big battles, he’s 1-1 (The Wall and Hardhome) but he comes away accomplishing what he set out to do. Jon is a great leader in battle and has proven warriors all around him. Can’t help but think there will be some surprises that go in his favor as well.
6. Sansa Stark (Previously 9th)
It is the Stark name that is on the line in the upcoming battle with Ramsay, which Sansa has, but it’s Jon that the bulk of their forces (Free Folk) are fighting for. She makes a great point in the teaser, that she knows Ramsay better, however it will be Jon doing the fighting on the battlefield. I still stand by the X-Factor being Sansa’s Raven coming through in the clutch…that coming in the form of Littlefinger and the Vale.
7. Ser Davos (Previously 4th)
There is a lot of Davos in the teaser, and rightfully so. This is the battle that he wanted to fight for Stannis and will have his former king in mind when doing so.
8. Bran Stark (Previously 3rd)
I don’t think there’s any question that Bran could be the most powerful character on the series, with the potential ability to even turn Dany’s dragons against her, but he hasn’t realized it yet. He also doesn’t seem to have a bearing on the result of this battle that his siblings are heavily involved with. Have to imagine we’ll get some more clarity on him before the season is up though.
9. Queen Margaery (Previously 6th)
Margaery is still playing the game but now it seems more for survival. Cersei isn’t going to let her fate be l decided by the High Sparrow and I don’t think Margaery wants Lancel’s to be either. At this point, she can help Cersei or sit idly by as queen and possibly be literally burned for it. Her note to Olenna signified that she is still loyal to House Tyrell at this point.
10. The Hound (Previously 21st)
Sandor got his revenge for Brother Ray in a hurry. After seeing him chop in his path to pieces, we were reminded just how dangerous The Hound really is. Teaming up with Beric gives him some direction again has seems to be concerned with doing more good than evil with the rest of his life. What gives him the edge over his now undead brother is the fact he has control over his life…
11. Zombie Mountain (Previously 20th)
…but even if Gregor is at Cersei’s bidding, he’s practically an unstoppable force. He made ripping off the Faith Militant member’s head look way too easy.
12. Benjen Stark (Previously 12th)
Healed the same way White Walkers were created, Benjen knows a thing or two about how to defeat them. As forces, like the Brotherhood Without Banners, start heading north to fight the REAL war, Benjen will be one of their best weapons after Bran.
13. Arya Stark (Previously 46th)
Arya has her name back and she’s getting the hell out of Braavos. That’s a win for all of us. Seems like fighting in the dark is her strong suit too. Let’s just hope her siblings are still alive when she gets back.
14. Ramsay Bolton (Previously 18th)
PLEASE LET THIS NEXT EPISODE BE RAMSAY’S LAST!
15. Petyr Baelish (Previously 14th)
I see Jon and Ramsay’s armies tearing each other to shreds. When things look the bleakest for the Starks, then Lord Baelish and his Vale fighters can clean house…like the Riders of Rohan in The Two Towers.
There are quite a few similarities to Lord of The Rings. Can’t blame me when I make them.
16. Tormund Giantsbane (Previously 19th)
Tormund was one of the most impressive warriors in the Free Folk’s siege on Castle Black. The Bolton army is going to be heavily armed and better skilled than the “Crows”, but Tormund and his people know what’s at stake and are more battle tested as well. Of those fighting for Jon and Sansa, he and the free folk will have the most heart (and numbers) doing so.
17. Drogon (Previously 23rd)
Who is ready to see Drogon light up some Masters…
18. Rhaegal & Viserion (Previously 25th)
…and with his brothers.
19. Wun Wun (Previously 24th)
I love the visual in the teaser of Wun Wun chokeslamming dudes right and left. I don’t know if he makes it out of the battle alive, but I do know he’s going to take a ton of jerks with him.
20. Tyrion Lannister (Previously 10th)
Tyrion’s face when he saw Dany walk into the room reminded me of what it’s like when your parents come home early while you’re throwing a party. It’s not really fair to let Tyrion fall this far, considering he did bring some stability to the people of Meereen, but he did underestimate the Masters…That’s why there are giant fireballs being thrown at the city.
Without Varys to have his back, will Tyrion be in Dany’s doghouse or will he be able to regain everyone’s trust as an advisor.
21. Cersei Lannister (Previously 11th)
Cersei doesn’t just get put in the corner by Tommen. She get’s her heartbroken as her only remaining son turns his back on her. The Trial by Combat felt like it was in the bag, but now she has to take the most desperate of measures…for survival and revenge.
That rumor she was referring to with Qyburn may have to do with the massive supply of Wildfire. We’ve seen that movie before…
22. Brienne (Previously 13th)
As Brienne said, she failed. Her job was to convince The Blackfish to help Sansa’s forces and she couldn’t. It was a valiant effort though and her exchange with Jaime showed how much respect he has for her. There may have been some foreshadowing too when they suggested it could eventually come to face-off.
23. Euron Greyjoy (Previously 17th)
The assault on Meereen by the Masters may be as good a nudge as any for Daenerys and company to finally get going to Westeros. They need ships though and Euron has a leg up on Yara and Theon. It was Euron’s idea to align with Daenerys in the first place. He must have a plan once he meets her.
24. Daario Naharis (Previously 26th)
Daario will be ready for some action when he returns to Meereen. Learning a thing or two from Jorah should help too. Still concerned with how well the Sons of the Harpy were able to organize and get Daenerys to flee in the first place. Either Daario puts his #TrueDetective skills to use or I’ll go back to having my suspicions about him.
25. Varys (Previously 16th)
Interesting how Varys got out of Dodge right before things heated up. I do believe he is invested in helping Daenerys and Tyrion. What kind of help is he looking for in Westeros though? Greyjoys? Starks? Glovers?
26. Tommen Baratheon (Previously 27th)
If there’s one thing you can say about Baratheon’s, they sure don’t last on the Iron Throne. Tommen may have mad his last decree by turning on his mother but for now, he’s keeping the crown occupied.
27. Kevan Lannister (Previously 14th)
I don’t get what Kevan has to gain from being a jerk to Cersei and Jaime. They might not have the best reputations but they are family…and they are dangerous.
28. Grey Worm (Previously 36th)
Big episode for Grey Worm:
- Got to tell his first “joke”.
- Made Missandei laugh.
- Told Tyrion “I told you so”.
- Got his queen back.
Now Grey Worm fights and maybe that makes him happy, a little.
29. Edmure Tully (Previously 73rd)
Even if it’s all thanks to Jaime, Edmure made the biggest swing in the rankings by going from zero to Lord of Riverrun. Can’t blame him for getting upset with the Blackfish…ya know, for telling the Freys to go ahead and kill him.
30. Beric Dondarrion (Previously NR)
This is exactly how I feel about Ser Beric.
Sorry that killed your buzz, Stoneheart fanatics.
31. Thoros of Myr (Previously NR)
Of all the Lord of Light magicians, Thoros has shown to have the most practice bringing people back to life. He also has a very clear idea of who the real enemy is up in the North…
Bronn has no chill, and that’s why we love him. I thought his admission to preferring the “little” Lannister brother more was great. What happens in the scenario when Jaime has to go against either Brienne or Tyrion in the future?
33. Ghost (Previously 33rd)
The time to avenge his siblings is near…
34. Melisandre (Previously 30th)
Melisandre has been uncharacteristically quiet since the 3rd episode. Her powers will needed for this coming battle though.
35. Missandei (Previously 35th)
Dharma and Greg aka Missandei and Grey Worm were super adorable during their wine tasting with Tyrion. It was very impressive how quick she was to grab a knife though when the pyramid seemed to be under attack.
36. Lyanna Mormont (Previously 34)
I don’t know how much fighting Lyanna will do this Sunday, but it sounds like her “Bear” fighters are going to do some impressive damage.
37. Robin Arryn (Previously 52nd)
Who woulda thunk that Robin would end up being a potential X-Factor, and could possibly save Sansa (who slapped him) from impending Bolton doom. I would be very surprised if her Raven was intended for anyone else.
38. Dim Dalba (Previously 41st)
Usually new Wildlings are introduced to us and then go out in a blaze of glory right after. I don’t expect much different from Dim Dalba, but I bet he takes quite a few Flayed Men with him.
39. Yohn Royce (Previously 49th)
Redemption time is near. Hopefully Commander Royce doesn’t betray Sansa again.
40. Smalljon Umber (Previously 62nd)
Of everyone participating in the Battle of Bastards, I trust a guy named Smalljon the least. But being a part of the battle and offering a ton of trips makes him more valuable than several after him.
41. Harald Karstark (Previously 63rd)
…still wondering if the Karstarks flip, like Sansa suggested.
42. Qyburn (Previously 50th)
Qyburn kinda lives for chaos. After all the shit he gets from Pycelle, I hope he gets to kill the old coot.
43. Kinvara (Previously 22nd)
Yes, her priestesses helped bring stability to Meereen. But we didn’t even see her at work and that really didn’t last long.
44. Jorah Mormont (Previously 28th)
Somebody’s going to be really lucky when this guy shows up…Just unsure of who or where.
45. Lord Commander Edd (Previously 29th)
Things pretty quiet at Castle Black in the Edd era?
46. Jaqen H’ghar (Previously 31st)
I still don’t know what to make of Jaqen. Sending Waif after Arya was apparently further training. He wasn’t too beat up over her decision to leave the and stop talking in the 3rd person. Was he just a murderous Jedi Master, preparing Arya for what’s to come? Does he follow her on the journey out of Braavos?
47. Meera (Previously 42nd)
She has spent the majority of this season sitting, but as we know…Bran Stark is going to need her.
48. Podrick Payne (Previously 45th)
Pod’s “Little Brother” demeanor continues to be adorable after 6 seasons and I appreciate him owning up to his squire role to Brienne, while also trying to grow as a fighter.
49. Yara Greyjoy (Previously 39th)
The race to Daenerys is officially on between Euron and Yara, but I don’t know how either one will help immediately as Meereen is under siege. As mentioned before, Euron and has Iron Born army seem to have the leg up.
50. Theon Greyjoy (Previously 40th)
If Varys was going to search for help, at least he has Theon to relate to.
51. Samwell Tarly (Previously 43rd)
I am going to stand by my prediction that Samwell and Jorah cross paths sooner than later.
52. Gilly (Previously 44th)
Still hope she kept the dress.
53. Robett Glover (Previously 51st)
It would be quite a nice break if House Glover joined the Vale in helping Sansa fight Ramsay.
54. Walder Frey (Previously 60th)
Old and creepy as fuck, but he did get his way. The idea to bargain with Edmure was his as well.
55. Olenna Tyrell (Previously 47th)
Getting out of King’s Landing was the smartest thing Olenna could do, as Cersei seems prepared to burn it all down. As much as she despises Cersei, her plotting abilities could prove helpful to carry out that plan.
56. Aeron Greyjoy (Previously 59th)
I would think Aeron has assumed the role as Euron’s righthand-man.
57. Rickon Stark (Previously 61st)
Part of me hopes Ramsay has left Rickon alive, as a way to gain support of the rest of the North. The other part of me knows how horrible Ramsay is and I’m worried we’ll see Rickon’s head on a pike at the Battle of the Bastards.
58. Lothar Frey (Previously 70th)
At least Lothar gets that Jaime is the boss.
59. Walder Rivers (Previously 69th)
Severe case of “Bitch Face”.
60. Ellaria Sand (Previously 52nd)
I have not been able to update her photo since the premiere…
61. Tyene Sand (Previously 53rd)
…or hers…
62. Nymeria Sand (Previously 54th)
…or hers…
63. Obara Sand (Previously 55th)
…I don’t think I’ll ever update her’s. This one’s pretty good.
64. Septa Unella (Previously 48th)
Who do you think gets to kill the Septa: Cersei or Margaery?
65. Melessa Tarly (Previously 57th)
The real boss of House Tarly.
66. Randyll Tarly (Previously 58th)
Has he organized the search party for his sword yet?
67. Talla Tarly (Previously 65th)
Going to make this a weekly reminder that Talla was hushed when mentioning the guy she is set to marry…and that might matter.
68. Dickon Tarly (Previously 66th)
When trying to guess what Chicago suburb Dickon may have come from, I would peg him as either a Lake Forest or Barrington bro. You know exactly what I mean, if you’re from the area.
69. Lancel Lannister (Previously 67th)
Lancel’s face as The Mountain popped off his faith militant buddy’s head…was…priceless.
70. Lhazareen (Previously 71st)
Welcome to Meereen.
71. Ser Loras (Previously 72nd)
THERE’S STILL HOPE FOR YOU LANCEL! I BELIEVE IT (not really).
72. Mace Tyrell (Previously 74th)
How does this guy standby and watch Tommen basically condemn his only son?
73. Maester Pycelle (Previously 75th)
Admit it, you thought Pycelle was just farting the entire time he was whispering to Tommen.
Anyone too high or too low in this week’s rankings? Let me know on Facebook or Twitter. Don’t forget to checkout The Piffcast, where we regularly discuss the show.
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